“What is marriage counseling and how does it work?” This is a question that new clients commonly ask when they first come for help with their marriage. Some people have delayed coming to counseling because they don’t know what to expect. So let’s talk here about what happens in the first session, and then what to expect after that. When a couple comes in for the first time I listen to them…Read More
The previous article focused on the inevitability of marital conflict. I proposed that not being surprised by spousal conflict might make the pain of the argument sting less. Just to be clear, I don’t advocate for or expect constant bickering in spousal relationships. In light of taking the shock out of arguing with our partner, this article proposes that since disagreement is inevitable,…Read More
How do you fight with your spouse? For those of us who have a lifetime partner, the art of arguing is a valuable skill. This brief article, and the one following, are going to propose that it is possible to navigate marital conflict. I can’t claim to have the step by step guide to arguing, but one thing I have learned is that it is better to fight WITH your spouse than AGAINST them. I do…Read More
The Golden Key To A Woman’s Heart After a long delay that included a vacation with my darling wife for our sixth anniversary, it’s time for another installment. Last time I spoke directly to women about finding a true man of love and honor; a true gentleman. I was speaking to men as well, because if you want that woman you dream of, then work on becoming the man she will be looking for! All th…Read More
We long for a spouse who answers the needs and cry of our soul. We’ve talked about finding someone who fills the spaces in your heart and soul and personality; a person who is your match and one who makes you feel alive, with whom you have chemistry and feel the passion of life. All of that is essential to a good marriage But there is more that is needed. A great spouse is someone who is of good…Read More
Last time we talked about knowing yourself and then looking for someone who meets you in who you are, one who is a match for your personality, emotions, likes and dislikes - who will be the true companion to all of you. The belief that opposites attract is out there, but research has shown that opposites divorce at a higher rate than those who are more alike. That isn’t too hard to believe! I’…Read More
It is commonly known that the Grammy winning song “Respect”, as recorded by the legendary Aretha Franklin (Atlantic, 1967) is a variation of a song originally written and recorded by the blues and soul pioneer Otis Redding (Volt, 1965). Redding wrote and recorded the song “Respect” as an anthem for men; a desperate plea from a man to a woman to fulfill a felt need. Aretha’s version flipp…Read More
Before you look for a husband or wife there is one absolutely essential thing you need to do – you need to know yourself. When we know ourselves well we will know who and what we need to complete us. Finding that person you dream of begins here. So ask yourself some questions like, What are my passions, the things that make me come alive? What is my personality type, and do I want someone like m…Read More
How can I find a good spouse safely? We hear this question so often in counseling. Marriage counseling is a large part of our practice, so we see the effects of not asking this question, or not answering it well. Singles who have delayed marrying are now very worried that the field of eligible men or women is smaller in their age group. Divorced people don’t want another bad marriage, and widowe…Read More
Have you ever been to Santa Monica or San Francisco, CA? I grew up on the west coast and used to love going to the piers built from these great beaches and bays. Piers are built out into the water for people to enjoy a view of the coast-line and an up-close experience of the surf without being tossed around by the waves. The pier is supported by pylons which are built deep into the ground beneath …Read More