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We are Designed for Connection

We were designed for connection; marriage and relationships should be a delight – a life giving connection with the one you love above all others. We marry or are in a relationship with that one person with whom we hope that we will find happiness, joy and peace. We bring ourselves with all our differing personalities, history, baggage, wounds, and family of origin issues to each other and our lives together, and these things can make it very hard to find what we long for.

We all begin marriage with hearts full of love and dreams for the future. But time, and just doing life can gradually wear down those feelings until the love and marriage we dreamed of seems almost unreachable. Children come and then go, careers are built, life is lived, and distance grows. We can feel disconnected from our spouse, distant; loved – yet longing for love.

It’s common for couples to raise children and put their marriage almost on hold. They love each other, but in the in the busyness of life they have lost touch. Marriage, once so vibrant, is now seen in muted colors; sometimes it has faded to shades of gray. Sex can become routine and infrequent, and life is just lived with an empty longing for that deep, in love feeling that you once shared.  The bedroom is a barometer of the marriage, especially of the sense of connection. Making love – truly creating love as well as expressing it, can become just having sex. And if there is a distance between couples, sex can become a painful reminder of the sense of loneliness.

These problems can be changed if a couple is willing to do what is needed to reconnect, or to connect for the first time.

Finding Hope and Love

I’ve worked with many couples to help them work through all these issues, recognize dysfunctional patterns of relating, and then take on new patterns of healthy love and connection with their spouse or partner. On the other end, I do premarital counseling to help you work through these issues before you marry.