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We are Designed for Connection

We were designed for connection; marriage and relationships should be a delight – a life giving connection with the one you love above all others. We marry, or are in a relationship, with that one person with whom we hope that we will find happiness, joy and peace. We bring ourselves with all our differing personalities, history, baggage, wounds, and family of origin issues to each other and our lives together, and these things can make it very hard to find what we long for.

We all begin marriage with hearts full of love and dreams for the future. But time, and just doing life can gradually wear down those feelings until the love and marriage we dreamed of seem almost unreachable. Children come and then go, careers are built, life is lived, and the distance grows. We can feel disconnected from our spouse, distant; loved – yet longing for love.

It’s common for couples to raise children and put their marriage almost on hold. There are also a plethora of other reasons why married couples lose touch with each other or put their marriage on the backburner. Both can still love each other, but in the busyness of life, they have lost touch. Marriage, once so vibrant, is now seen in muted colors; sometimes it has faded to shades of gray. Sex can become routine and infrequent, and life is just lived with an empty longing for that deep, in love feeling that you once shared.  The bedroom is a barometer of the marriage, especially of the sense of connection. Making love – truly creating love as well as expressing it, can become just having sex. And if there is a distance between couples, sex can become a painful reminder of the sense of loneliness.

These problems can be overcome if a couple is willing to do what is needed to reconnect or to connect for the first time. Marriage counseling is one of the ways in which couples can reconnect & rebuild the intimacy, communication, and connection they once had. We have no stigma surrounding couples that need help putting their marriage back together in a safe and judgment-free zone. A professional and experienced marriage counselor can help bridge the communication gap, help improve understanding and help a couple move past obstacles that once seemed too daunting.

Finding Hope and Love

I’ve worked with many couples to help them work through all these issues, recognize dysfunctional patterns of relating, and then take on new patterns of healthy love and connection with their spouse or partner. On the other end, I do relationship counseling and premarital counseling to help you and your partner work through these issues before you marry.